Sensuality, Sexuality, Survival

People often ask me why I chose Pure Romance - Here is one of the reasons:

Sensuality, Sexuality, Survival Foundation

The Challenge

Approximately 200,000 women a year are diagnosed with breast cancer in the United States alone (ACS).

Approximately 50% of women treated for breast cancer suffer from sexual dysfunction, sometimes up to five years after surgery or treatment (Fleming & Kleinbart, 2001).

Many women find the degree of support and information they obtained from their health care providers regarding their sexuality following breast cancer treatments to be lacking (Wilmoth, 2001)

The Mission

To help women recapture their sensual and sexual selves through education, empowerment, and safe product offerings designed specifically for women following cancer diagnosis and treatment.

The Pledge

Offer safe products to enhance women’s sexual experiences

Raise public awareness on intimacy and sexual challenges faced by women with breast cancer

Provide ongoing support through current literature and specially trained Pure Romance Consultants

Provide an ongoing support network for women and their partners

Develop and maintain programs to educate and support women living with breast cancer

If you are interested in hosting a fundraising party for SSS or any other charity or foundation, please contact me.

Too Beat for Booty

Everyday stressors can wreak havoc with your sex life. We know this, we feel this every time we are thinking that if he would just finish we could get 7 hours of sleep. However, little is known about the physiologic effects of stress on sexual functioning. But the effects of stress on the mind are well documented. Since sexual desire originates in the brain, it's not surprising that the mind-altering effects of stress can also become libido altering and include:

• Negative emotions
• Anxiety that can overpower the relaxation necessary for successful lovemaking. If left unchecked, stress can also lead to depression, a condition well known for lowering your libido. If you take anti-depressant or anti-anxiety medications, they may boost your mood but depress your sex drive or ability to achieve orgasm
• Research has shown that certain anti-depressant medications—and especially selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRIs) such as Prozac, Zoloft, Celexa and Lexapro can reduce arousal and/or decrease one’s ability to climax. In fact, SSRIs are frequently prescribed to men who suffer from premature ejaculation
  
• Concentration problems - It's important during sexual activity to focus on the eroticism of the moment. If that erotic focus is distracted or lost during love-making—if in the back of you're head you're thinking about that meeting you have scheduled tomorrow morning—that can lead to difficulty with erection, or vaginal dryness and difficulty achieving orgasm.

The good news is that your every orgasm doesn't have to lose out to your boss's bitchiness or the pending mortgage payment. Weaving quality love-making into a whirlwind schedule may be challenging, but it's far from impossible.

Try these techniques as starters for decreasing stress and increasing sex:

• Plan for sex - Having sex at the end of the workday may not be the optimal time. This is not the ideal environment for 45 minutes of foreplay, 20 minutes of lovemaking, and 30 minutes of afterglow. Therapists recommend setting a date one to three times a week, even if it's only for an hour.
  
• Say what you feel - Once a day, tell your partner what you love about him or her. It takes just a minute. Women access their sexual feelings through being emotionally close with their partners and men access closeness to a partner through the experience of sex. If this applies to your relationship, realize that saying how you feel about your partner, even if you don't feel close to him/her at that moment, can promote physical closeness. And even if you don't feel like being sexual, an affectionate touch might encourage him/her to communicate more.
• Remember the importance (and fun!) of sex. If you look at sex as one more thing that you should be doing as part of a good marriage then it becomes just one more stressor. Remember how much fun sex can be, and how important intimacy is amid the noise of everyday life.
  

When He's Just A Little Too Excited

Dealing with Premature Ejaculation...

Premature ejaculation is defined as "the occurrence of ejaculation prior to the wishes of both sexual partners." So, there is no set time limit. Nothing that states - if your fountain turns on after 2 minutes that's ok, but less 1:59 and we've got an issue. That means a lot more men have the condition than you probably think. If your partner climaxes before you are ready, that can be classified as premature ejaculation. This is one of the most common sexual dysfunctions for men under 40 and some researchers think PE could affect one in three men. If PE occurs during more than 50% of sexual encounters, treatment may be an option.

There are many causes of PE, including:

• Being in repeated instances where a man may have hurried to climax (think junior high, don't want to get caught wacking off)
• Anxiety/Stress
• Abnormal hormone levels
• Thyroid problems
• Infection of penis or urethra

If you are dealing with a serious issue that is causing realtionship problems or is affecting sexual satisfaction, it is important to contact your healthcare provider who can provide medical treatment or refer you to a sex therapist. Two techniques that are often recommended by sex therapists are The Squeeze Technique and Stop Start Technique.

Squeeze Technique
1. Engage in sexual activity as usual until he feels like he's ready to pop
2. Have him squeeze the end of his penis where the head joins the shaft and maintain the squeeze until the urge subsides
3. Wait about 30 seconds and start again with foreplay, not intercourse
4.Repeat this several times before finally allowing him to orgasm

Stop Start Technique
1. A man should start masturbating with a dry hand (or you can do it for him if you want to play too)
2.Vary stroking technique to prolong orgasm
3. When he feels close, back off and start again as he feels further from ejacualtion
4. Do this a couple of times a week and as you find him taking longer to orgasm, move to manual stimulation with lubrication
5. You know what's coming, right? Move to oral stimulation using the same technique and eventually intercourse
6. It's important not to engage in intercourse until he is ready. Mixing the stop start technique with regular intercourse will not allow the training to work effectively!

If you've just got a sometimes issue or you simply want to try something new, try Time in a Bottle. It's a prolonging cream made with benzocaine to help even out the playing field.

Happy Humping!

Test Your Knowledge

with this quick quiz from Women's Health. It's fun and informative!
It's also a great party game for your Pure Romance get together's.
I'll ask your party goers these questions and the lady with the most correct answer wins Romance Bubbles!

Take the quiz
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Check out Romance Bubbles

Recession Lovin'

The economic crisis has a huge upside: an opportunity to improve your relationship.

Layoffs, furloughs and shrinking 401(k)s may not seem like natural aphrodisiacs, but according to experts in relationships and sex, the depressed financial picture is leading some couples -- and singles -- to better appreciate each other.

"The recession brings with it a re-evaluation of what's important in life," says Manhattan psychoanalyst Amy Joelson.

It's too early for empirical studies evaluating the effect of the recession on the sex lives of Americans, notes Chicago psychiatrist Paul Dobranksy, author of "The Secret Psychology of How We Fall In Love." He says it takes years to compile a meaningful picture of how the downturn has changed the intimate lives of Americans. "See me in five years," he says.

But anecdotal information exists. While many of Joelson's patients, for example, have expressed anxiety about spending money on frivolous items, they still feel good about engaging in physical intimacy.

"People wrestle with guilt about indulging in all kinds of pleasures, like going shopping or eating at expensive restaurants; that's seen as politically incorrect," she says. "But you don't need a 401(k) to have sex."

Physical intimacy is also a great way to relieve anxiety, tension and stress, points out Wayne, N.J., psychologist and dating coach Victoria Zdrok, author of "Anatomy of Pleasure: The Head to Toe Guide to Better Sex."

"People are turning to sex to boost their endorphin levels," observes Zdrok. Tightening budgets means more time at home, says Zdrok. "That allows people more one-on-one time and more intimacy," she says, "which leads to more sex."

Because of all the bad news about plunging markets and escalating unemployment, says Zdrok, some couples may be turning off the television and turning to one another. "It's been shown that people who watch more TV have less sex," she notes. "In one Italian study, when television was removed from the bedroom, couples' sex lives improved."

Another upside of the down economy: With many Americans out of work or on furlough, people have more time to exercise.

"Exercise is one of the ways people deal with stress and anxiety," notes New York City relationship counselor Ian Kerner, author of "Sex Recharge: A Rejuvenation Plan for Couples and Singles."

"Exercise is also a great libido-booster and a great part of sexual health," adds Kerner. "Exercise increases blood flow and predisposes you to sexual arousal."

Layoffs and furloughs can also shake up the daily grind and introduce the concept of novelty, which can spur spontaneous sex. "Whenever you introduce novelty, it stimulates dopamine transmission in the brain," notes Kerner. "I advise couples to use the recession to break out of routines."

Experts agree that tough economic times can motivate couples, as well as singles, to turn to simple pleasures. For singles, that can mean greater use of dating websites followed by low-key in-person meetings that can lead to more intimate conversations and deeper relationships.

"To go out there and use the more traditional method of a night on the town -- that's too costly," points out Manhattan psychotherapist and advice columnist Jonathan Alpert.

Couples, likewise, can forgo lavish vacations or dinners in upscale restaurants in favor of affordable pastimes that stimulate bonding, like cooking dinner at home, renting a movie, cuddling on the couch or taking a walk in the park and talking. "All of these activities," says Alpert, "encourage an intimacy and a closeness that improves the quality of a couple's sex life."

Dobranksy agrees. "Anybody who loses a job is going to take a hit to his dignity," he says. "That presents a couple with an opportunity to rediscover the non-material values in life, which are certainly the stuff of love and romance."

Meantime, notes psychoanalyst Joelson, couples should stay focused on the value of an active sex life. "Sex is a great expression of intimacy in a relationship," says Joelson. "It's a really optimistic thing, to have sex; there is hope built into the belief that together, you can create something better."

Provided by Forbes.com

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The Health Benefits of Orgasm

The Health Benefits of Orgasm
A staggering number of scientific studies clearly show that orgasms are good for you! There are the obvious physical benefits: the heavy breathing and elevated heart rate that occur during sexual arousal and orgasm help keep tissues and organs healthier by circulating oxygen. As an exercise, it burns off just slightly more calories per minute than playing tennis. However, there are a number of additional benefits that medical science is discovering.

• The latest research comes from Australia. A study led by Graham Giles of The Cancer Council Victoria in Melbourne concluded that the more men ejaculate between the ages of 20 and 50, the less likely they are to develop prostate cancer. Other research shows that regular male orgasm can also help prevent a condition called nonspecific prostatitis, which causes painful urination.
• Serious research on sexuality began in the U.S. in the 1950's with Alfred Kinsey and his famous Kinsey reports. Kinsey reported that sex reduces stress, and that people who have fulfilling sex lives are less anxious, less violent and less hostile.
• In the 1970's, a study at Duke University found that the frequency of sexual intercourse for men was associated with lower death rates, and that the enjoyment of sexual intercourse by women was associated with a longer life.
• Similar conclusions were reached in a study done in Caerphilly, Wales, and published in the December 1997 British Medical Journal under the title, "Sex and Death: Are They Related?" The authors studied nearly 1000 men aged 45 to 59. The study found that men who reported at least two orgasms a week at the time of the study had less than half the risk of dying from various causes over 10 years of follow-up than those with a lower frequency of orgasm.
• A 1976 study published in Psychosomatic Medicine suggests that a failure to reach orgasm may have a negative impact on women's hearts. In the control group, just 24 percent of the women reported sexual dissatisfaction. In the group of women who had heart attacks, the report of sexual dissatisfaction prior to their attack was 65 percent.
• A study from the Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality conducted by Dr Ted Mcllvenna looked at the sex lives of 90,000 American adults. He found that sexually active people take fewer sick leaves and enjoy life more.
• According to gynecologist Dr. Dudley Chapman, orgasms boost infection-fighting cells up to 20%. Psychologists at Wilkes University in Pennsylvania found that students who had regular sexual activity had a third higher levels of immunoglobin A, an antibody that boosts the immune system and can help fight colds and flu.
• Research done by Dr Winnifred Cutler, a specialist in behavioral endocrinology, indicates that women who have intercourse at least once a week are more likely to have normal menstrual cycles than women who are celibate or who have infrequent sex.
• Dr. Cutler also reports that women who enjoy regular weekly sex have significantly higher levels of estrogen in their blood than women experiencing either infrequent sex or no sex at all. The benefits of estrogen include a healthy cardiovascular system, lower bad cholesterol, higher good cholesterol, more bone density, and supple skin. There is also growing evidence that estrogen is beneficial to brain functioning.
• Another important hormone that seems to be affected by sexual activity is DHEA. Right before orgasm, the level of the hormone DHEA in the body spikes to several times higher than normal. DHEA is believed to improve brain function, balance the immune system, help maintain and repair tissue, promote healthy skin, and possibly improve cardiovascular health.
• Both testosterone and estrogen levels increase through regular sexual activity. Testosterone can help strengthen bones and muscles, and is also beneficial to a healthy heart. For women, the health benefits of estrogen include keeping vaginal tissues suppler and protecting against osteoporosis and heart disease.
• A study from the South Illinois School of Medicine found that having an orgasm could cure migraines. Working with 52 migraine sufferers, 16 reported considerable relief after an orgasm and another eight had their headaches completely gone.
• Other studies show that orgasm can help treat other types of pain. In research by Beverly Whipple and Barry Komisaruk at Rutgers University, women found that they had a higher pain threshold through regular orgasms that helped with conditions ranging from whiplash to arthritis.
• A man's orgasm can even be beneficial to women, according to research that indicates that semen can reduce depression in women. Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at the State University of New York, headed the study. The researchers believe that mood-altering hormones in semen are absorbed through the vagina.
• Regular orgasms can even help you look younger. According to research done by David Weeks, a clinical neuro psychologist at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, making love three times a week in a stress free relationship can make you look 10 years younger.

Katie The Pure Romance Lady

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